I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
