STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
