If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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