He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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