She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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