I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I believe in your delicious
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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