I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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