i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
