Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
