so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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