i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Shame - the story of my life.
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