there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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