there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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