Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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