I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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