Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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