I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
