she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
