Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
