She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
