Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
