Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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