Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
