Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
