Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
