I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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