So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The adults are the big ones right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
