what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
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So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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