i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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