I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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