if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
