If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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