He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
