he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize