Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
