His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
