speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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