I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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