Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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