What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
