It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
