are you still at the devil's house?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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