She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize