Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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