Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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