Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize