Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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