This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
