She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
