To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
