I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
