Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
