hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize