How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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