Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
