im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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