Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
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I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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