And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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