Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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