Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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